Valley of the Flowers

My husband has been trying to get me to run The Valley of the Flowers Half Marathon in Lompoc, CA for years.  I can think of a lot of good reasons to go (sunny California, good friends, good wine, mini vacation with my Hubs) and a pretty lame reason not to go (a hilly, sandy course).

This year we committed to do it!  We were already training for the Catherine Creek Classic so this was a nicely timed event to just continue on our training schedule.  I, for one, need a goal dangling out in front of me to get me out the door each day.  And even with that goal I have been struggling to log the miles this past 10 days or so.  I do it, but it is a big ol' argument with myself each time and my heart isn't in it...as evidenced by my times.

And then, life got in the way.  One never has to look very far for an excuse not to go for a run.  Work.  Family.  Household chores.  Meals.  Sleep.  There is always something screaming for that block of time in your day.  But they are just excuses.  And usually they aren't very good ones.  Instead of planning days off when my brother and his family come to visit next week, I am preparing a map so they can go for a run with me.  Nick is fast so I want him to know the route so he can run at his own pace.  I've got friends coming into town for Burning Man.  As much as I'd prefer hanging out drinking happy juice, I can always squeeze 30 minutes out of the day to hop on the treadmill.  As a rule my excuses are not good reasons so I plan out paths to my own success.

But you know how funny life is...

My 10 year old niece has to have brain surgery.  THAT is a REASON.  SHE is my reason...for smiling, for not swearing, for staying fit, for wearing a seat belt.  I'm blessed to have many beautiful nieces and handsome nephews who inspire me to be a better person each and every day.  Of all the hats I wear, the Auntie hat is by far the most important.  So it is devastating to me to know that she has to go through this. 

Ariel's surgery is 3 days before the Half.  I would say that I have to choose between the two...going to California or traveling to Oregon to be with my sister and her family during and after the surgery...but there is no choice to be made.  My husband and I will go wherever Ariel needs us.

The runner in me is whining about this.  (Maybe I never told you, the runner in me is pretty selfish.)  I was looking forward to that trip.  I was leaning heavily on the motivation it provided.  Now I feel less like running than ever.  Why bother?  There is no fairness or justice in the world.  You can be the very best human being and crappy things will still happen to you.  (Cue towel being thrown in.)

Thank goodness for Ariel and her "at least".  If something bad happens she is the first to see the "at least" in the situation.  Teacher yelled at you (Please be quiet!)?  "At least" she said Please.  Coffee splashed out of your cup onto your console?  "At least" the whole cup didn't spill.  Had to have brain surgery at the age of four?  "At least" they didn't have to shave my head.

While I may not like this entire turn of events, at least I get to be there.  At least she knows I love her more than life itself.

I've got to get out of here.  I've got to go for a run.  Because at least I am able to do that.